Should couples watch porn

Some people will have used porn for a long time, while others may be just starting to experiment. Many couples successfully integrate watching porn into their sexual relationship; it can be a useful way of increasing arousal or getting ideas to introduce to your sexual repertoire. One of the most upsetting things when it comes to porn can be finding out that a partner has been watching it in secret. The hurt, outrage and shame that this discovery can bring is something that Relate sex therapists often find our clients want to talk about. So, in the right circumstances, porn might be something you can use together creatively. For some couples that will mean just finding sites that meet both their needs and for others it may be that they create their own porn shows and which they may or may not choose to share.

Conventional wisdom tells us that porn consumption is not only damaging to our psyches, but also destructive to monogamous relationships. Best friends, parents, clergymen, and therapists -- all folks who have our best interests in mind -- often try to steer us away from temptations such as porn, believing they are saving our relationships. But who says porn is so damaging to monogamous unions? Before we consign it to the relationship deal breaker dustbin, perhaps we should re-examine our prejudices about porn to see if it's really as bad as everyone says it is. Salon columnist Tracy Clark-Flory recently tackled this very subject in "Does porn hurt relationships? The fact is -- we cannot ignore pornography even if we occasionally find it distasteful. According to Gizmodo , 25 percent of all search engine requests are pornography related.

Some studies say that watching porn with your wife in moderation is fantastic for your relationship, and helps keep your sex life steamy and exciting. I like those studies. But still, those who say porn is bad are wrong.

We know a majority of young men use porn today, and yet it's still often a surprise when women find out their partners are participating. For some this may be true, but for many others, their habit has become a full-swing obsession in the background by the time they get married. As a result many women are faced with what feels like only two options, use porn with him or lose him.